Oh how the laughter rang out...


when Tony had the forth digit of his left hand ripped off
while he was nippin’ over a 10ft, barbed-wire fence,
evading capture by the police for chuckin’ petrol bombs.
He says he didn’t even know it was gone till he was halfway down the road;
how we laughed.
 
Or like when Mackal lost a bollock on West Street
When a rubber bullet hit him during a riot.
He said the peeler aimed it to bounce off the ground just in front of him;
we were in fits.
 
And then there was that time Johnny got lifted with all them E’s.
They were stuffed in a Chelsea teddy-bear stuck on the window of his Nova.
And he kept sayin’ ‘The bear did it. I’m not the boss of him!’
...the bear did it; brilliant!
 
And d’you ‘mind the time Magoo’s brother tried to make a blast
bomb by stickin’ together 9 aerosols and throwin’ it in a bonfire?
And that wee pregnant girl got so shocked,
so shocked she had to go have her baby early.
Magoo’s brother was only eight – cheeky shite!
 
You’re bound to remember that guy in The Circus
who was tryin’ to sell trips.
and the U-ffers caught him and made him eat them all?
And he ended up walkin’ around like a mongoloid all night.
I hear the dickhead’s in a care unit now.
 
You just have to ask yourself sometimes: what’s wrong with people?
Imagine turnin’ up to a bonfire when you’re pregnant.


* Arun Sharma says "I am a 34-year-old teacher living in Bristol but was born and bred in Northern Ireland , the son of Indian immigrants."